I really really enjoyed today's choir prac; especially towards the end when we did les mis omg it was so so good :D 'I dreamed a dream' is a really beautiful song and i think today , at long last, we put all our emotions into it; i was touched. And i am beginning to enjoy choir again, thank God for that. I love the way we sound so beautiful when we put our hearts into it, and if only we always do this.
I don't know if i mentioned this or not, indirectly or directly, there was just this period of time where i really didn't look forward to going for choir. can't rmb when it started exactly, but it's probably the whole period of time after comm results. I know people NEVER FAIL to tell you that it doesn't matter, how at the end of it all it's just a position, it's nothing. But the fact that it's so coveted says alot doesn't it? You can claim and say that it's the singing that matters, that what truly matters is that choir is bonded; yes i agree, but nothing ever changes the fact that everyone does want to be a part of it. I rmb being angry, bitter, upset and disgruntled even, but i thought through it and maybe, it's just not part of His plans for me. I guess i've gotten over it, somewhat.
Thing is, it's very easy to see how much the world affects the way you see yourself, and as much as this is repeated too many times, it is true. The world says that who you are is defined by the positions you hold, the results you get and practically everything else that = materialistic + outwardly; at times you get so consumed by what the world tells you that you forget that all that doesn't matter, because they don't last, they never do. Who you are, is really who you are, as much as even i forget that sometimes, one of the best advice i've ever heard
"you've got to learn to love yourself more."
Was just talking on the way home, and Cheryl and i thought that it would be pretty cool to know how the world would be if we never existed; a bit like The Greatest Gift, i know. I wouldn't mind y'know, given the chance. Sometimes i really get to wondering, do i really make any difference whether or not i exist? Would things be very different if i don't? I'm not being emo or anything, but it's something really worth thinking about and i do want to know the outcome. Ever felt under appreciated, or felt like no one notices what you've done? i do sometimes, and it sounds kinda selfish but times like that, i wish i could just take a step back into another world, and see how the world is without me.
--
'I'm not really all that tired,' he replied, 'more...well, more thoughtful.'
'What about?' I asked.
He gave a long, long sigh. 'Did I ask so many questions when I was that age? I can no longer remember that far back.' He paused for a moment. 'Where does the magic go to, I wonder? Where? Where?'
;and i wonder too.
Labels: choir, rants